April showers bring May flowers. But every time one of us showers, we just create sewage. We allow all that fresh clean water to flow over us right into a drain where it becomes unholy wastewater. Each time we take a leak, we contaminate anywhere from 1-6 gallons of drinkable water. It’s a huge waste of our natural resources, and I’d like to share a few tips on how you can help save our planet while saving money on utilities.

Picture of Tony.I did my part to conserve water out west.

The sad truth about wasting water

Many western states in the US have been facing water shortages and crises for years. Apparently there isn’t much water in the desert, but some people still think it’s a good idea to live there. While these folks can consume up to a gallon of water in a day, they can literally piss away another 100 gallons of fresh clean water.

In a careful dance requiring an incredible amount of resources, excrement is diluted with fresh drinking water just so that it can be transported to a wastewater treatment plant. There, the body waste is removed and the not so poopy anymore water is put back into the river for the lucky folks downstream.

While it’s rare for us to have a drought back east, dealing with wastewater is still a serious issue. When our wastewater treatment plants become inundated, they overflow. The excess wastewater ends up in our rivers, lakes, and oceans. Some beaches are even shut down because there is literally too much shit in the water.

An easy solution

I know it’s tough coming to terms with the fact that our regular bodily functions can cause such havoc on our water supply. I’ve shared tips before on how to save money on your energy bills, and low-flow shower heads are a great way to reduce the amount of water used for showers. But there is another simple and effective way to save water.

Picture of Tony.Doing my part in Nova Scotia.

Pee outside. While best kept confined to nature, and out of city streets, pissing au-natural is an excellent way to help keep our rivers, streams, and oceans clean and dookie-free.

Anyone can pee outside

Some of us prefer a little privacy in the privy, and the great outdoors are full of private spots. Bushes, trees, hills, and valleys can make for great cover. Just use your creativity and play a little hide and seek before you take a leak.

Picture of trees.Can you spot Mrs CK? She’s stealthy.

Nature, it’s where your pee wants to be

Each time you pee outside, you save up to 5 gallons of water that otherwise would have been contaminated in your toilet. Not only that, nature is where your pee wants to be. That fresh urine contains nitrogen, phosphorus, and potassium. So why not enjoy the freedom and majesty of nature while giving plants what they crave?

Picture of pasture.The grass should grow green here.

Synthetic commercial fertilizers are produced through an energy intensive process using fossil fuel. Natural fertilizers like milorganite are just your own pee and poo processed and sold back to you for beaucoup bucks. Why waste all that energy and money when you and a couple friends can turn a case of home brewed beer into liquid gold in no time?

The bottom line

There really are no drawbacks to peeing outside (assuming you keep it private… and in nature.) You can save cash on your water and sewage bills while getting free fertilizer for your lawn. As a bonus, you can help plants grow, and keep poop out of our waterways and off of our beaches. It’s a win-win for your wallet and the planet.

More money saving tips to come!

Make sure you stay tuned for our next money-saving post with a feature from my good friend Lorenzo. In a moment of genius (spurred by a few home brews while helping me fertilize the lawn) he was struck with an idea on how to save money on hats. It’s a surprising way to recycle at the same time. You won’t want to miss when he shares his secret.

Picture of Lorenzo.Hat sellers hate him.

Happy April Fool’s Day

But seriously, low-flow shower heads are good, and so is peeing outside. Just make sure your neighbors can’t see you.